A counselor can do great harm as well as great good. Do not go down the tubes with the pervasive idea that as long as you are talking and paying, it is all good, because they have no more responsibility than to sit in the chair while you talk. Further, don’t let the pervasive subtle hints of the philosophy that you also have no responsibility, that you shouldn’t be hard on yourself, and that “musts” and “shoulds” are unacceptable. These ideas have no basis in science, but are slopping beyond Clinical Psychology into the church. Here are my thoughts on how to improve the situation if you think getting a counselor might be helpful.